


We Shouldn't But We Must

by SilentSlayer



Series: Randomness at Midnight [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cheating, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, First Time, Fuck Canon, I am a Bitch, I'm Sorry Cullen, Love, POV Alternating, POV Multiple, POV Third Person, Rylen is Hot, Unrequited Love, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, smutty smutty smut, there will be smut, yeah i went there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-09 17:00:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5548307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentSlayer/pseuds/SilentSlayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maya Trevelyan is just hanging out in the Western Approach, gawking over a man she cannot have. Cullen is waiting for her at Skyhold, but all she can think about is Rylen.<br/>Tension finally breaks, and it is oh so glorious.</p><p>So this is no longer a one shot but has turned into yet another twisted Fic of mine. Mayamelissa's conversations still inspired the hilarious antics inside</p><p>Warning: this work features an insane amount of cursing especially our favorite F word. So tired of writing DA:I fics that are all prim and proper.<br/>Also features a fiesty Inquisitor who doesn't give a flying something something what anyone else thinks about her</p><p>In the Words of Sebastian Vale: I think I need to pray, a lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Well that Escalated Quickly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mayamelissa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayamelissa/gifts).



Weeks had drawn on and still Maya Trevelyan did not leave. Varric had gotten a horrid sunburn and now hid in the cavern below the keep. Dorian would no longer speak to her. Even Bull grumbled about the endless sands since the Abyssal High dragon was slain. Maya just couldn’t go.

_If I leave I may never see him again._

She was currently staring at the object of her affections. Commander Rylen’s accent made her shiver, and those tattoos! She wanted to trace every one of them with her tongue.

Cullen was cute and all, but the Lion could not compare to his second-in-command. She spent her days hoping he would notice her, but so far the conversations had been exasperatingly polite.  

She had fixed all of Griffon Wing keep’s problems. If any other had asked for her help she would have told them to fuck off, but for him she would do anything.

“Inquisitor, I have a report for you.” A scout handed her the piece of paper and she tried not to growl. She recognized Cullen’s choppy letters immediately.

_When are you returning? Rylen tells me the job is done. This is not a vacation, Inquisitor. We need you back here at Skyhold._

No greeting and no goodbye, typical Cullen. She smiled to herself, knowing there was more than Inquisition business on his mind.

A romance had been slowly budding between the two. Those uncomfortable neck rubs and stutters may have worked in the past, but she hardly felt touched by them now. There was a time she would have been happy to have the Commander as her companion, but things had changed.

_He changed everything._

Rylen never faltered in their talks. He knew what he wanted and demanded it. There would be no awkward kisses between them. Fire, passion, and need would burn and consume her at the touch of their lips.

She groaned with frustration as she stood and headed for her room. The sun was setting and the nights were chilly. She would have to make a move soon, before Cullen sent someone to drag her back to Skyhold.

_Wouldn't that be some shit if he came for me himself?_

The thought should have reduced her heart to mush, like those poor maidens in Cassandra’s romance novels. Instead it only served to piss her off further.

The door slammed behind her as she hid in her room. She paced as she tried to formulate a plan, but nothing seemed right.

_Maybe I should just strip naked and hide in his room? No too trashy._

_“Hi Rylen, I really want you to plant you flag already. Can you get to it before Corypheus kills us all?”_

That one made her snort. He had to be blind not to see that she wanted him. She practically stalked him, and yet he avoided her.

_Why can’t men just say when they aren’t interested?_

The thought made her sad, but it passed quickly. She wasn’t the kind to dwell on self-depreciating thoughts. Maker knew Blackwall did that enough for them all.

“For fuck’s sake!” Irritation finally overcame her. She screamed to the walls as she flung a cup across the room. It shattered into pieces but she didn’t care. She would deal with it later.

“Inquisitor, are you alright?” Rylen burst into the room, his sword drawn ready to defend her. A blush crept up her cheeks. She thought she might faint from the embarrassment of it all.

“I-I’m fine, Commander.” Speaking of sputtering fools, she was turning into one. The tension left him as he realized she was in no danger.

“I’m sorry to barge in, Inquisitor. I was coming to see you. When I heard the noise I was worried.” Her eyes soften as her heartbeat slowed its rapid thrumming. He had been concerned for her. She would swoon if she was that kind of woman.

“You wanted to see me?” Maya couldn’t help the hope that lit her face. The pitch of her voice was higher than normal, and she fidgeted uncomfortably as he stared at her.

_Calm down, Maya. Don’t scare him away._

“Another time might be better.” He had already turned to exit. This was her chance, and damn the Maker but she was going to do it.

“Rylen, don’t.” He froze as she pleaded with him, his hand resting on the handle of the door. She had never called him by his name before, and it caught his attention as much as the gentleness of her voice.

_Ok, Andraste. If you can hear me need a little help over here. It would be great, thanks._

Maya felt open, exposed. Rejection was hard, but even more so when she wanted someone so much.

“I know what you want to say. I’ve seen how you watch me. You think I don’t notice, but I always do.” His shoulders slumped as he spoke. The space between them disappeared as she went to him. He sounded like a man torn in two, and she hoped to persuade him. She would never want another.  

“I don’t understand.” Her hand came to rest on his shoulder. He leaned into her touch and a sly smile danced on her lips. Playing coy was her specialty. Now she just needed to put him in Checkmate.

“I know Knight-Commander….Er I mean Commander Cullen and you are involved. He is my senior officer, and a friend. It wouldn’t be right...” Words trailed off as he turned to her. Fire burned bright in his eyes. He was restraining himself, but just barely. All he needed was one little push.

“Please, Rylen. I know we shouldn't, but I can't stay away.” Her whisper was barely audible and she let a sob slip out. Men always fell for the wounded maiden. It got them every time, and this was the most important time.

"Neither can I."

His kiss consumed all her senses. Genuine surprise hit her and she gasped as he swept her into his arms. There was no tenderness, only soul crushing need. Hands roamed over taunt muscles as breaths panted out in soft moans.

_Finally._

Rylen pinned her against the wall as his mouth traveled to her neck. She tilted her head back as hands snaked up to his short black hair. He chanted her name and she growled in response. She did want soft and sweet. It had never been what she needed.

“Bed.” Her mind was becoming lost in the fray. She could only manage one word, and it was the only one he needed.

_He’s too perfect._

It was the last intelligible thought Maya had as he laid her down on the sheets.   


	2. Not No But Hell No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya's friends weigh in on her...situation.  
> She returns to Skyhold and Cullen isn't exactly happy about her rolling in the sheets with his Second-in-Command.  
> Things get a little heated in so many ways.  
> This was supposed to be a one shot but whatever, so enjoy.

Rumors preceded her as she headed back to Skyhold. Several pleasure filled days had been spent locked in her room with Rylen before departing. They were even almost caught shamelessly in the kitchen. The keep was abuzz with the news.

She should have been more discrete, but she didn’t give a damn. She didn’t owe Cullen anything. It wasn’t technically cheating. No promises had been made.

_Josie and Leli are gonna be pissed._

Well, at least now the War Councils would have some spice. Map pieces were sure to fly at her quite often.

Her companions said nothing as the horses bumped along. She had expected disapproving stares, or maybe even cat-calls. Everyone was too in shock to speak. Maya shagging Cullen’s top soldier was too much for the mind to handle.

She already missed him, a dull ache settling in her chest. There had to be some way to convince Cullen to change Rylen’s post. The Western Approach was just too damn far away.

_I can see that conversation now:_

_“Cullen, be a dear and transfer the man who stole me from you to Skyhold.”_

_“I most certainly will not. He’s a good soldier and I need him in Griffon Wing Keep.”_

_“You could go there yourself and let him come here. That would be a nice change of scenery for everyone involved.”_

A mad cackle escaped her. Her friend’s gave her a sideways glance before looking to each other and nodding. The time had come for them to break their silence.

“Copper, did you think this through?” Of course Varric was first with his concern. He liked hearing himself talk more than any dwarf ever known.

_I hate that nickname. My hair is not that that red._

“Some coherent thoughts were involved, but it was mostly mind numbing mush.” He sighed as he massaged his temples and she waited for the others to speak.

“While I think Rylen is a pentacle of male perfection, I’m not sure this was wise. The Commander is sure to have heard of your…tryst.” Maya looked at her BFF. They had spent time appraising every male in Griffon Wing Keep, but even he had not expected her to go off in left field. She felt guilty for not telling him sooner.

_He would have tried to stop me, or maybe encouraged me. I never know what he is going to say._

“I’m sure Cullen heard it loud and clear. Not exactly the best break up in the history of Thedas, but hey shit happens.” She shrugged as she shook it off. She had botched things badly, but there was no going back now. Rylen’s Templar pendant hung between her breasts, a proud reminder to all of who she belonged to.

“Well Boss, I’m no expert on human relationships, but I think Cullen is going to be pretty pissed when we get back. If one of you doesn’t kill the other, then drinks are on me.” Maya couldn’t stop her giggle and almost toppled from her mount. Maker, she loved how awesome Bull was. Now if only Dorian would pull his head out of his ass and go on a date with the Qunari. Everyone needed a good lay at times, and Bull was perfect for the job.

The rest of the journey was devoid of further talks about Rylen. The guys were happy to be out of the sand and everyone slipped back into their normal routines.

As they approached the Frostbacks, Maya felt a coldness slip into her that had nothing to do with altitude. She was jittery, and she snapped a lot. Everyone was smart enough to leave her alone when Skyhold came into view.  

_GAH! I really don’t wanna deal with this. It wasn’t so bad when I wasn’t right here. I wonder if Cullen can catch me if I run? Maker’s breath, I’m acting like a child. We are adults. We can talk about this in a civilized fashion._

_Haha, yeah right._

They crossed through the gates just like the hundred times before, but this was different. She could feel the quiet tension in the air. Hushed whispers behind hands followed her.

_Yep. Everyone knows. I bet Cullen is blushing down to his knickers. I’m so screwed._

 Master Dennet took her horse and winked at her knowingly. There were too many people around her. She had to escape.

 She made a mad dash up to her room, trying to avoid the curious stares. She started hyperventilating.

_I just need a moment to collect myself. It will all be forgotten in a week or two. It’s not like I ruined anyone’s reputation. Ah shit…well I did sort of publicly embarrass the Lion of Skyhold. Fuck a duck._

Maya sank to the floor as the door closed behind her. She wouldn’t say she was happy to be back, but she had missed her familiar room. Her thoughts were so jumbled that she also missed the man sitting at her desk, a sneer on his face.

“I see our _beloved_ Inquisitor has returned.” Her eyes shot up to meet his. He really was handsome. She had forgotten how piercing that gaze was, and her mouth gaped open in surprise.

“C-Cullen. What are you doing here?” Great she was being a stuttering idiot again.

The Lion stalked closer to her. She debated on the wisdom of staying seated and not moving. Maybe a Fade Rift could conveniently open and swallow her.

_“Too late dumbass he’s already seen you. Might as well get up and face him like a woman.”_

_“I’m a chicken.”_

_“Then face him like a chicken. For Maker’s sake do something!”_

Maya put the voices in her head away to argue at another time. She straightened as she prepared to face the Commander’s wrath.

“It’s it obvious why I am here? I live in this room, remember?”

_Shit I forgot about that. Shouldn’t have invited him in that last night before leaving. Thank Andraste’s holy tits I was too drunk to fuck him. I mean the heavy petting was nice and all but it makes things less complicated now._

“Listen Cullen, I know you’re upset…”

“Furious is a better word but continue, please.” She flinched as the words hit home. Her ma had always said not to play with fire. Maya had almost burned the stable down then, and now the situation was much worse.  

“Ok so you are _furious._ I can explain.”

_Well in all honesty I can’t. Those words sounded better in my head._

“I don’t want to hear the… _details_ of your time in the Western Approach. The barracks are already full of rumors and I have heard enough to last several lifetimes.” Cullen was dangerous on the battlefield, but the subtle violence laced in his words made her wish he would just draw his sword and attack her now.

“I am actually sorry about that. Didn’t mean to burst your bubble in front of the entire Inquisition.” He was impossibly close now. She felt suffocated by his presence, but she wouldn’t give up in the battle of the iron will.

“I am willing to forgive your and Rylen’s little _indiscretion._ All I ask in return is a promise not to return to Griffon Wing Keep.

_Oh not no but hell fucking no._

“Let me explain something, Commander tight-ass!” She poked him in the chest with her finger as she screamed. First shock, and then rage overtook his features. Ma had also said not to poke the sleeping bear.

“Rylen and I are together! T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R! I know you may have a hard time wrapping you tiny brain around the facts, but not every woman out there wants to bend over and kiss their own ass for you.” Maya pushed past him, but he grabbed her arm and jerked her back to him.

His lips crashed into hers, and for a moment old memories crept into her mind. Sandalwood and sunshine surrounded her, and her hands fisted in those golden curls once more. He growled, and she was shocked out of whatever desire had fogged her mind.

He wouldn’t let her go, though she tried to pull away. It was a little too late to play dominant now.

_Where the fuck was this Cullen before?_

He should have known she wasn’t the one he wanted to mess with. She stomped on his foot, and he howled as he finally broke away from her. It took him several seconds to recover, and when he did she debated on punching him in the face.        

“It wasn’t real, Inquisitor. The advisors thought it best that we keep you happy. I pledged myself to the Inquisition, so I took the task of courting you. Obviously one so _talented_ as you didn’t need my help.” The words hissed out and she shook with the effort it was taking not to kill him. She could admit that those words cut her deeply. No one like being a pawn in a game.

“Oh what the fuck ever, Cullen. Stuff your wounded pride back in your pocket and get the fuck over yourself. Also, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!” She stomped her foot as she screamed her command. Cullen blanched for a moment, and then turned to exit the room.

“You will regret this, Maya.” He paused briefly at the door before slamming it behind him.

 _Well, that went better than expected._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Specialness goes to Mayamelissa who is my one and only true love (at least at the moment teehee).  
> Also thank you to Maharia_Avile and LilKJay. Without the encouragement of these three people this fic would have died rolling around in the bed sheets with Rylen.  
> Also I have no fucking clue where I am going with this story, but thanks to those who are taking the journey with me.
> 
> Much Love,
> 
> SS


	3. Fixing Your Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya misses Rylen and doesn't want to face Josephine and Leliana. She's also really pissed off after finding out that they were in league with the plot to use Cullen as bait. WTF she thought they were all friends!  
> Basically lots of swearing, debauchery, and Maya trying to figure out how to get her lover back to Skyhold.
> 
> I officially Canon Rylen as Gerard Butler complete with awesome accent. You're welcome  
> I'm going to tag this as AU because, quite frankly, it would have to be an AU for me to turn down Cullen's sexiness.  
> I'm trying to stick to canon on our main characters and just let Maya be the crazy one, but things may change as we progress.  
> Also, if you are secretly reading this and hating it, yet keep coming back to read more. I see you bro, and I love you.  
> Cheers to the haters, there is so much more to come.

Eventually, Maya would have to leave her room. She knew that was true, but still she laid on her bed. How the actual fuck was she going to survive this?

_They betrayed me. My friends lied to me._

She needed to talk to Leli and Josie. Hell was Cass even in on this? How deep did the rabbit hole go?

She wasn’t crying. Her allergies were just acting up again. Badass Inquisitors did not cry, no matter how fucked up the situation was. There was only one person she could trust now.

_Rylen, I miss you so much._

She was certain he hadn't been in on the charade. He would never let her be the cruel butt of everyone’s joke.

She fondled the pendant around her neck as she lost herself in sweet memories. Her body was in Skyhold, but her heart was always with him. Snippets of her blissful days flittered into her mind.

 

_“Lass, be quiet! You will wake the entire keep!” She giggled in response as she straddled his hips. They were both ready for round two._

_“But Ry-Ry,” she whined as her bottom lip poked out in a pout. “I can’t help it! It’s just too good.”_

_His easy grin met her as his blue eyes drank in the sight above him. He could never be angry with her._

_She reached down to toy with the necklace that laid against his bare chest. The Templar insignia slipped through her fingers while he watched her fascination._

_“Take it, lass. Wear it with with pride and know my thoughts are always on you.”_

 

Maya felt a heaviness weighing her down. She was going to have to face her demons sooner or later. She sighed before rolling off her bed. “I guess I have to go now.”

_This is going to suck major druffalo balls._

Walking down to the War Room was like wading through mud. Each step exhausted her, but finally she strolled in to face her advisers.   

Cullen was thankfully absent as she approached the table. He was probably off pounding a dummy with his sword again. Sexual frustration was a major downer.

“Inquisitor.” Leli and Josie both nodded curtly to her, but she recognized the carefully veiled annoyance hidden behind their eyes. Maya wasn’t in the mood for their disapproval.

“So, Cullen told me what the three of you did. You used him as fucking _bait?_ ” She wasn’t yelling, not yet. She was indignant for both herself and Cullen, but more for herself. He had gotten a choice, she hadn’t.

“We felt it was best for everyone if you had someone to _entertain_ you. Being Inquisitor is stressful, and we thought you would enjoy the _distraction_ from your duties.” Josie tapped her quill against her clipboard as she spoke. The Ambassador was deliberately avoiding Maya’s gaze, and a slight redness tinted her cheeks.

 _Damn right she should be embarrassed. If they wouldn’t have sent Goldilocks to fail miserably at seducing me, none of us would be in this mess._   

“Who else knew? How many of my closest friends have knives in my back? Because I would appreciate it if you pulled those bitches out!” She gestured wildly as her voice raised several decibels. Being pissed off always made her more animated.

For once Leliana actually had the decency to look sheepish. “It was just the three of us. We couldn’t afford to let the secret spread and tarnish the Inquisition’s reputation. Presenting a united front is of utmost importance.”

_Well, about that Red, there was a whole lot of tarnishing done in the Western Approach. And damn you all but I liked it._

“Tongues like to wag, Inquisitor, as I am sure you are now aware. We need to discuss a way to salvage this situation before it gets out of hand. Our supporters in the noble houses of Orlais and Ferelden have already started asking questions.” That sounded like it was already a bit out of hand, but Maya kept her mouth shut on that matter.

_We can’t let the Inquisitor look like she’s a total whore. Gotcha Josie loud and clear._

“I thought the Orlesian court would be delighted to know that the Inquisitor was promiscuous. That seems to be their specialty.” Well shit she had said that aloud instead of thinking it in her head. Oh well too late now.

The Ambassador brushed her words off with an accomplished grace born from years spent in the Game.

“We have several options, but we were waiting to hear you opinion, Inquisitor.” Typical Josie, always keeping everyone on the business path. Maya would have hugged her for being so...her, if she wasn’t still so pissed off.

“Go on then.” Warning bells flashed in her mind, but Maya tried to quiet the foreboding feeling.

“I assume you have already met with Cullen, judging by the screaming coming from your room? Am I also safe in assuming that you declined his _conditions_?” Maya nodded to Josie’s words as she bit her lip.

_Dammit everyone heard us! I need to think these things through better._

“I am almost afraid to ask but, what are your _intentions_ with Commander Rylen?” Leli’s cut into the conversation and her eyes narrowed as she spoke. Maya fought the urge to flip her the bird.

“That’s not really anyone else’s business.” She huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. Just because everyone knew who she took to bed, didn’t mean she was just going to hand out informational pamphlets.

“We need to know if he is just a passing fancy, or if it is something more.”

_So basically, Red, you want to know if I’m just scratching an itch? Gah why can’t people just say what they mean?_

“Like I told Cullen, Rylen and I are a couple. Now that I have qualified my personal relationships to the people who obviously know more about what goes on in my love life than I do, what are you playing at?” There was venom in her hurried words, but she gave the other two women mad props when they didn’t flinch from her fury.

“If you are serious in this matter, then there’s only one option for us. We have to convince Commander Cullen to allow Commander Rylen to come to Skyhold. He will serve as your champion.”

_Blah blah...wait, what did she say? Rylen, here? Maker’s balls this is just went from the worst to the best day of my life!_

Maya was having a hard time not dancing around the room, and her advisers shifted uncomfortably from her obvious joy.

“Josie you are brilliant! Thank you so much!” She could have definitely hugged the Antivan now.

“So how do we go about convincing tall, blonde, and brooding to allow his best soldier to be my personal booty guard?” Josie stifled a giggle and Leli’s eyes went wide.

 _Oh for fuck’s sake I said booty instead of body. Shows where my mind is._   

“Leave that part to me, Inquisitor.” The Spymaster stepped forward and volunteered her services with a sly smile. Maya was just glad she didn’t have to deal with it, and that Leli wasn’t laughing from her blunder.

_I can never look at them the same again._

“Well if we are done discussing this matter, can we move on? Getting a little tense over here.” Her advisers nodded as they began to discuss the ins and outs of the Inquisition's business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate Maya, I envy her, I want to kill her, and yet hug her at the same time. Gah love characters who make me feel so much emotion.  
> I shouldn't listen to Hotline Bling while writing. I start thinking of Cullen, Rylen, and Alistair stripping and dancing and it's just distracting as fuck.  
> So Rylen get's a little Scottish Brogue but not too much. I'm not skilled enough to make him full on Highlander!  
> Also to the real Maya, Mayamelissa, thank you for talking to me for hours on end. The Inky doesn't swear as elegantly as you do, but she tries.  
> Next chapter is going to be told from the delightful view of Mr. Sexy Lion. Why? Because I love multi povs  
> Thanks to my supporters. I love comments and kudos they make my day.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	4. You Had One Job!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen is working out his frustrations in his favorite way, by beating a helpless dummy senseless.  
> We get some blanks filled on on his relationship with Maya and friendship with Rylen.  
> A lot of angst and pity and stuff.  
> Then Leliana shows up.
> 
> Basically stuff happens.
> 
> I have decided that I am clinically insane for writing this

Cullen struck the dummy repeatedly as he worked out his rage. The steady  _ thwack  _ was the only sound in the training yard. Sweat creased his brow and his alabaster skin glistened in the sun. He was the pentacle of perfection, at least to every woman save one. 

He just couldn’t understand where things had gone so terribly wrong. It hurt, a lot more than he would ever have expected. She had always been wild and unpredictable, but he would have never guessed she would do something like this.  

When she arrived back to Skyhold, he thought he was in command of himself. He had been practicing his words for days, but something about seeing the teeth marks on her neck had cracked his careful control. She was rightfully  _ his,  _ she belonged to  _ him _ . 

He hadn’t meant to lose his hold on his anger. His offer to forgive her had been sincere, born out of his deep feelings and need for her. His pride was hurt but his heart ached more. He should have seen it coming when he added his conditions at the end. Jealousy had flared and he didn’t want her returning to her lover. 

Cullen hadn’t been expecting to kiss her, but she had looked so passionate as she yelled at him. He couldn’t resist tasting her one more time, even if it had caused her to try and break his foot, and him to reveal his most hidden secret. If there had been a chance to reconcile, he had blown it with those words. Maker’s breath, he had never been able to restrain himself around Maya. He hadn’t always felt that way, but she had bewitched him body and soul.

When he had first agreed to the task of keeping her content, he couldn’t stand Maya. She was loud, obnoxious, and had a mouth that would make a sailor blush. He once dreaded having to spend time with her, and the awkwardness he felt was not from affection but irritation.

With time, she began to grow on him. Her smile was glorious and her laughter infectious. She wasn’t afraid to say exactly what she was thinking. Her boldness inspired him, and on rare occasions she was fragile, like finest glass. Andraste preserve him, why did she have to taste like strawberries and vanilla? It was too much for one man to endure.   

Maya had seemed happy, at least from what he could tell. They spent hours playing chess and talking of simpler times. She flirted with him endlessly, and took great pleasure from making him blush and stutter. She was constantly dragging him into dark corners and leaving them both breathless. 

Then, there had been that last night in Skyhold. He would never forget how she softly beckoned him into her room. She was shamelessly drunk, but her words had loosen the last bindings that surrounded his heart.

_ “Stay with me tonight, Cullen. I want you here in the morning, and every morning after.” _

He lost himself in the moment and rained kisses down on her, kisses laced with his utter happiness. She had giggled and pushed him away while she told him to ‘fucking quit’, but he couldn’t stop. That night he did not sleep as he held Maya in his arms. He had felt more complete than he ever had before. 

It was true that Cullen wasn’t the most experienced when it came to women, but Rylen had been the one to teach him what he knew. Obviously, some things were held back from him. 

His friend’s betrayal stung as much as the Inquisitor’s. He had met Rylen in Kirkwall during a dark time. The Knight-Captain of Starkhaven had given invaluable aid after that psychopath blew up the Chantry. They had survived the beginnings of the Mage Rebellion together, and there was no man he trusted more. 

When Lord Seeker Lucius called for the Templars to rebel against the Chantry, Rylen had opposed and Cullen was all too happy to make his friend his Second-In-Command. Cullen went to Starkhaven to personally to deliver the missive, and several days of absolute debauchery had followed. 

Rylen knew the women around town well, and they knew him. Cullen wasn’t a boy anymore, but he had never seen so many half-naked women throwing themselves at Templars in armor. Things were much different in Starkhaven, and the two friends had returned to the Inquisition thoroughly satisfied. He had even given Rylen a promotion, and made him Commander of the West, answerable only to the Lion. 

Rylen had sure found a way to repay his loyalty.    

Cullen’s muscles burned and he felt an all too familiar headache starting to build as he laid down his sword. He had worked through his angered thoughts and was now thoroughly exhausted. Of course, that was the time a certain Spymaster strolled into his view looking like a vision of pure annoyance. He knew she was headed straight for him, and he had a feeling he knew what this was about.

“Sister Nightingale, what a pleasure to see you.” That was a lie, but he wanted to keep up pretenses. In truth, all he wanted was to get away. 

“Commander,” she was still being polite for now. “I need to speak with you on important matters.” There was no one around, so Cullen took a seat on the nearest bench. He was going to need to sit down for this.

“What matters would those be, Sister Nightingale?” Still playing the Game, still trying to stay calm even though irritation burned in him. He knew that look in her eyes, and it made his skin crawl. 

“We need you to withdraw Rylen from Griffon Wing Keep. He is needed here in Skyhold, to be the Champion of Inquisitor Trevelyan.” Cullen’s mouth fell open and he felt like someone had slapped him in this face. He wasn’t sure which one of the insane women had suggested this idea, but there was no chance he was going to agree.

“No.” He felt there was nothing else to add. As Commander of the Inquisition Forces, he was the final authority on matters concerning his troops. He was having a hard enough time dealing with this without Rylen and Maya parading around Skyhold. 

“Cullen, don’t be petty. Maya made her choice and now we have to fix this mess. The only way we could see to salvage the situation was to bring him here. We will play up their passionate love, a love so great it caused her to abandon the Lion of Skyhold. Besides, women love a heartbroken man. They will all flock to you after this and you can have her replaced by the end of the week.” He didn’t want to replace Maya, he only wanted her back. That was not going to happen if Rylen showed up. He rubbed his temples to try and stave off his growing headache. 

“I am  _ not  _ recalling Rylen from the Western Approach. He is the most qualified for the post.” Cullen would try the professional angle. He needed a good man to hold their furthest outpost and make sure things ran smoothly.

“I really didn’t want to have to do this, but you have left me no choice.” The threat was clear in her words as she stared daggers at him. Her smooth veneer fell away to reveal the true woman beneath.

“You had one fucking job, Cullen! For once stop being the constant prude and open your eyes. You botched the entire plan, and then told her about it. If you think you are going to convince her to come back to you, then you are more delusional than I thought. Did you not pay attention to her at all while you courted her?” Cullen’s fingers dug into the bench beneath him. He words bristled against his skin, and he felt his control slip a notch.

“I did nothing but pay attention to her! I’m sorry I have higher standards than just bedding a woman because she isn’t trying to kill me at that moment. I thought everything was going perfectly until this happened.” He growled with frustration and ran his hand through his hair. He hated discussing his personal life, especially when it came to his failures.

“And you wonder why she left you? Can you hear yourself right now? Just admit that you screwed up and let it go. Stop the pity party! It wasn’t even a real relationship.” Cullen had never revealed that it had become real for him. When Josephine or Leliana asked he kept his reports strictly business. He hid the truth about his feelings from everyone else. 

“I am through discussing this.” He stood and prepared to storm off. He had enough humiliation for one day, and he was trying not to lose what little dignity he had left

“Before you go, Commander.” Against his better judgement, he paused at the Spymaster’s words. “You have a greater chance of something  _ unfortunate  _ happening between them if you bring him here. She will never let him go if he stays so far away. Women love romantic notions of long distance lovers.” A slight smile touched her lips as she planted the thought. He hadn’t missed her subtle suggestion about intentionally breaking them up, but he wasn’t sure he was that desperate, not yet.

“I will consider your words, Sister Nightingale.” Cullen had much to brood on as he headed for the sanctuary of his tower.

_ Maker’s breath, now I have to let him come back. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you all noticed that this chapter was much different from the others. Since we switched POVs to Cullen I wrote in a style more suited to his personality. I miss Maya's craziness but this fits him. Please let me know if you enjoyed the change of pace  
> Am I the only one who thinks it's crazy how different Cullen and Maya see their past relationship? I mean she was digging him at one time, but she wasn't all aboard on the lovey dovey train. Gah man have some dignity (Cullen I didn't mean it come here. You can love me all you want *chases him screaming*)  
> Rylen, you dirty dog! Cullen obviously didn't get all the lessons you had to offer. Someone's been naughty *wink*  
> And Leliana, I love when you are a bitch but seriously, step off Garbage's man or I will have to unleash her. 
> 
> I love all you crazy cats who read this and eat it up! Stay classy San Diego!
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	5. It's About to Get Strange, Very Strange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically shit happens in this chapter

“Bloody bitch balls! Had fun rolling that one yeah? Always nice. Rolling that is.” Maya slipped into Sera’s room at the Herald’s Rest, and was glad to see someone legitimately missed her. It had been entirely too long since she had seen the second half of what they had personally dubbed the ‘Psychotic Duo.’

“SERA!” Maya tackled her and they both fell only the couch with a giggle. Yep, at least one woman in Skyhold wasn’t wishing her dead. 

_ If there’s anyone I can trust to throw shade on Cullen, it’s this chick. _

Several moments were wasted pattering about what had happened during her extended stay in the Western Approach. Sera found it quite hilarious that she had ‘stuffed it to the pussy cat’. 

“So, want to piss in Mr. Scarface prudey pants porridge even more? Right, well Jenny sent me this. Smells awful that stuff, but could be fun yeah?” A purple flask appeared in the elf’s hand, and Maya couldn’t deny that she was intrigued. 

“What does it do?” Sera handed over the object and Maya examined it carefully with wide eyes. Liquid sloshed inside, and excitement radiated through her.

“I dunno. Friend said it would be fun. Just throw it on him or something. Only one way to know right?” This wasn’t a good idea. Maya knew that and yet it seemed perfect.

_ This is going to be fucking epic. _

*****

Cullen had been successful in avoiding the Inquisitor for the last several days. The whispers were finally dying down, and his recruits had stopped snickering every time he passed. The tension was only making his lyrium withdrawals worse, but he was able to control the most severe symptoms.

In truth, he missed her. He hated admitting it, but each night made his loneliness more clear. A part of him wanted to go find her and talk, but he wasn’t sure his control was ready for that. He was determined not to lose his restraint the next time they spoke. 

“Commander.” He stiffened as a familiar voice called after him. She always materialized out of thin air at the worst times. He was headed to meet the Iron Bull for a round of sparring in the training yard, and he was already late. The fighting was keeping him grounded. It helped him repress the urge to break into Maya’s room and demand she take him back. 

“Inquisitor.” They were near the armory, and he was thankful no one was around to see them together. This had the potential of falling apart quickly if she was in one of her usual moods. 

“I wanted to apologize for yelling at you the other day.” He stared at her curiously, not quite believing what he heard. “Leli told me you approved our request for Rylen to become my personal Champion. I just wanted to tell you, I think you were very...mature for doing that. Thank you.”

A slight blush played on her cheeks as she smiled up at him. She looked uncomfortable and fidgeted as she stuttered through her words. He had rarely seen this gentle side of her, and his eyes darkened with desire. He had been dreaming about her entirely too much since their last night together.

“You’re welcome,  _ Maya _ .” He couldn’t stop himself from growling out her name. She flinched for a moment before a sweet smile crossed her face. It did not escape his notice that she was intentionally avoiding his intense gaze. 

“I actually got you something. Think of it as a peace offering.” She handed him an object, but he hardly noticed the flask as her fingers brushed against his. Maker’s breath, just a simple touch and his body was reduced to a raging inferno. 

“T-thank you.” He stammered with anticipation as she leaned into him. Striking hazel eyes finally rose to meet his, and his heart thundered in his ears. Her hand closed around his, and her lips skimmed across his knuckles. He had to suppress a moan from the contact.     

“I hope you enjoy your  _ present,  _ Commander.” Her giggle met him as she turn to saunter away. He told himself he wasn’t staring at her retreating backside, well not deliberately anyways. 

As soon as she was out of sight, he popped open the cork of the bottle. It smelled sweet, like aged honey. Whatever it was, it tasted even better than it smelled. 

Cullen felt more relaxed than he had in weeks as he headed off to meet the Iron Bull. If their earlier exchange was any indication, his chances were favorable for reuniting with his little cinnabun.  

*****

He didn’t feel well. Cullen drug himself to his room, clutching his stomach. Bull had finally called an end to their sparring after hitting Cullen for the fifth time in a row. That last one had staggered him, and his partner was nice enough to catch him before he hit the ground. 

Perhaps his withdrawals were getting worse? He hated to think that it could get more unpleasant than what he already endured. 

He climbed up his ladder and stripped down to his smallclothes before crawling into bed. He never suspected the truth as he drifted off to sleep.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No lie, this is about to reach a level of insanity unheard of in the history of Dragon Age Fandom (If someone out there has outdone these next few chapters point me to that shit because I need that in my life).   
> I seriously want to punch this bitch Inquisitor in the face for seducing Cullen to trick him. It was a necessary evil though to get the plot moving along.   
> I fucking love sake! Being sober is over rated.  
> Anyways enough rambling. Love my readers, kudos peeps, and especially the commentators. 
> 
> Much Love, 
> 
> SS


	6. Almost to the Strangeness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A moment before we descend into madness. Sorry yesterday was a hellacious day at work so this is a little teaser before the good stuff.
> 
> Maya gets a letter from the Western Approach   
> She is still upset with Cullen for lying to her  
> She feels bad about what she did to him in retribution. So she heads off to find him

_ Lass, _

 

__ _ I received my orders from Commander Cullen yesterday. My replacement is to arrive in three days time. I will need to get them acclimated to the fort, and then I will leave for Skyhold. Hopefully no more than a few weeks until I see you again. _

__ _ I have no idea how you did it lass, but I thank the Maker you found a way. Every breath without you here is a struggle. There are times while I am on patrol that I fight the urge to ride off and abandon my post. I was relieved when your last letter came and found you well. The roads are dangerous. I know you can take care of yourself, but I worry. Now it will be my personal duty to protect you. There is no job I could want more.  _

_ Please try not to infuriate the Commander further. He is the one we should be thanking for the gift of being together again. If the rumors are to be believed, he wasn’t very happy when you returned. I am glad he could move past that. Just don’t kick the man while he is down. I  _ **_know_ ** _ you are a  _ **_naughty_ ** _ girl.  _

_ Write soon lass. I live for each letter I receive from you. They are kept close so I can read your words often. _

_ Yours Always, _

 

_ Rylen _

 

Maya clutched the paper to her chest as a single tear slid down her cheek. His words always made her feel inadequate. Her replies were never as eloquent as his. The Maker had truly blessed her with Rylen, and yet something was tugging in her heart.

_ I’m unworthy of him. I’m angry and vengeful. It shouldn’t hurt so much, but I can’t let Cullen’s betrayal go. _

She had to get back at him, and that was where Sera came in. That crazy elf was great for playing pranks and embarrassing people. Rylen’s warning had been a little too late to stop her.

When she initially approached the Commander, her plan had been simple: throw the concoction on him and run away. Things never went according to plan. 

As she saw the tired look upon his face, she was trapped in those Lion eyes. There was true pain in him, raw and bleeding as if she struck him with a dagger to his heart. She had thought it was about his pride, his damnable, angry pride. Yet the way he growled her name, that heat in his gaze, it had her doubting for the first time since he told her it wasn’t real. 

_ That looked pretty real to me. I mean for fuck’s sake, he looked like he was ready to take me right there in front of everyone.  _

Maya had to be honest with herself. She missed him as much as she missed Rylen. Her seduction had been out of her own need for Cullen, and she had hardly believed the words that came from her as she handed him the potion.

_ I’m so fucked. I feel so bad now. I hope I didn’t do him any real harm _

She hadn’t stopped earlier to consider what she might be doing to him. Neither she nor Sera knew what the effects could be. Panic rose as she realized she might have killed her Lion.

_ He’s not yours stop it STOP IT! Rylen is your man.You threw Cullen away. Now be a woman and accept it.  _

She fingered the Templar pendant at her neck as her internal struggle raged on. Rylen...Cullen. If only she had a coin to flip or something. She was a bitch, she could admit that. However, she really didn’t like this game she was playing anymore. She wanted to be faithful, just faithful to both of them. 

_ I have to go check on him.  _ __ __

Regardless of what happened, she had to make sure Cullen was alright. Decisions could be made later.

It was going to suck having to tell him of what she did, but maybe now they could call it even between them. After he had a major melt down of course. 

Maya forced herself not to run. She made her way through the Main Hall with hurried steps and she search for the Commander. He had been heading towards the training yard last time she had seen him. That seemed like the best place to start. 

“Hey Boss!” Bull called to her but she ignored it as she made her way outside. She didn’t have time for the Qunari. Her mission had purpose and she could not be distracted. 

“BOSS!” A rough hand closed on her shoulder, and she nearly fell to the ground as she was stopped in her tracks.

“Ok now that you have my full attention, what is it?” Maya attempted to straighten herself and look dignified as she faced Bull.  

_ That man is a fucking tank. Dorian has to hit that for me. I need glorious details. He’s not my type but I just have to know.  _

Maya tried telling her thoughts to shut up, but as always they didn’t listen. 

“Focus, Boss.” Bull snapped his fingers in front of her face and she jumped. He understood how her mind worked better than most, and he always knew when she was lost in her own thoughts.

“Focus right. I’m back now. You were saying?” Maya didn’t even blush anymore when that happened. It was such a common thing that she would walk around permanently pink. 

“I was sparring with the Commander earlier and he didn’t look good. I have never beaten him that badly. He said he was fine, but he looked sick. Can’t lie to a Ben-Hassrath.” Maya was going to puke. 

_ Shit this is so bad. Maker, if you can hear me, please let him be alright.  _

“Shit. Did you see where he went?”

“He went to his room. Don’t know if he’s still there. I know you two aren’t...well I figured I should tell someone anyways.” Maya knew what he had wanted to say, but none of that mattered right now. Bull was left watching curiously after her as she rushed to Cullen. Fear gripped her and she broke all pretense as she ran to his office. 

The door slammed against the wall as she scanned his office for any sign of him. She was panting and wild eyed, but she relaxed as she heard his soft snoring from up the ladder.

_ Thank the Maker, he’s alive. That shit didn’t kill him, yet. _

She tried to be quiet as she made her way up to him, avoiding that one creaky rung of the ladder before making it to the top. Sunlight filtered through the hole in his roof, but it was still dim. His clothes and armor were strung all over the floor, and she swallow hard from how dry she suddenly found her throat.

_ HE.IS.NAKED!  _

_ Alright calm down Maya. It no big deal. You’ve seen lots of naked men. Not him but others.  _

_ It’s not the same thing! _

_ Yes it is. Now get your ass over there and check on him. You gotta get it together kid.  _

As she stalked closer, she noticed that the Cullen-sized bulge in his bed was much larger than it should have been. Maybe he had someone in bed with him? Ah fuck it had probably been a desire draught or some shit. There was probably some cute little elf tucked in there.

_ Don't kill her. You are not allowed to kill anyone he has under there. _

_ Can I hurt them? _

_ Maybe. We will talk about that after you woman up and find out what's going on.  _

“Cullen?” He voice shook as she reached out to touch what she thought was him. She could handle whatever was under there, at least that’s what she told herself. 

“Mmmm hmmmm.” He rolled over as he sought out her touch. The sheet fell away from his face, and that's when the screaming started. Maya had been wrong, there were some things even she couldn't handle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know all of you hate me right now and I can live with that. I promise next chapter is going to blow you away, or you will never speak to me again.   
> Omg Rylen you are so hot with your awesome sexiness letter writing self. Idk why I find actually taking the time to sit down and write a letter so endearing, but I do.   
> Maya may actually change her ways after what is to come. About time a bitch gets put in her place.   
> This chapter dedicated to the two anonymous people who left me kudos. I don't know your names but I see you bro and love ya!!  
> Special thank you to anyone reading this. You are booty-ful people simply booty-ful 
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	7. The Strangeness Revisited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out what Maya's dirty trick was and Cullen loses his shit for a moment.  
> Redid this chapter. This was going somewhere I didn't like and so as the writer I can do that.

Maya heard footsteps and knew others were coming. She was hyperventilating, a full blown panic attack seizing her as she froze in her spot.

Cullen sat up with a start and shook his head, a head that now had Qunari horns attached to it.

_Maker have mercy, what have I done?_

_Well at least he isn’t dead._

_Right, because this is so much better?_

_He’s breathing, that’s better than dead._

The sheet fell away from his broad chest, and the sun’s rays danced against his still alabaster skin. She knew every scar, had studied them for hours at a time. If it wasn’t for that knowledge, she would not have believed it was really Cullen in front of her.

_Have some decency woman don’t gawk so._

_I can’t help it. It’s a fucking trainwreck and naked Cullen all wrapped up into one._

Maya had never been drawn to Qunari before, but Cullen….Andraste preserve her even as a Qunari, Cullen was hot.

_Yep, still one sexy hunk of huge hulking man._

_Stop it woman you did this to HIM! He is going to be livid._

_For once in my life can you not ruin this for me?_

“Maya what....I feel so strange.” That was definitely Cullen’s voice, a little deeper timbre than his usual, but his nonetheless. His face held confusion as he looked down to his hands before reaching up to touch the new additions to his head. His eyes grew wide and still golden eyes zeroed in on her.

“What in the Maker’s Holy name did you do to me? You little _bitch.”_ Maya flinched under his piercing gaze. She had never heard him curse, and the rage that overtook him made a cold shiver spill across her.

He lept from the bed in all his full marvelously naked glory, a glory that she didn’t get to appreciate as he charged her. She tried to run, self preservation kicking in and finally spurring her brain into action. She almost made it to the rail, almost. Jumping down onto the hard stone floor was preferable to facing the man...er Qunari that chased her with such malice.

Cullen’s arms wrapped around her, and she was pinned with her back flush against the muscled chest she had been admiring. Bull’s earlier grab to her shoulder was nothing compared to this.

“I am going to enjoy _punishing_ you for your little trick.” His breath tickled her ear, and terror made her fight against his hold.

_Can’t breathe, Maya can’t breathe._

Consciousness started slipping, and her eyes grew dark as Seeker Pentagast made it to the top of the ladder. The cavalry had finally arrived, but a little too late. Cass’ wide-eyed look of shock was the last thing Maya remembered.  

*****

Fury, red hot rage he had not known since Kinloch, dug its fingers into the Commander. He had no strength to fight it as he realized what Maya had done. She had deceived him, and instead of being hurt, he felt only wrath.

Emotions fought for purchase inside him. The leash he had held on his careful control had snapped, the dam burst and his reactions were purely primal. This wasn’t like lyrium withdrawal, that was painful and made him feel weak under its halter. This was different in every way. Strength like the mightiest steed, the clarity of a mountain stream ,and a desire to discipline Maya for what she had done to him.

She tried to run, and it only enflamed him more. He crushed her to his chest, and low words played against her flesh.

“I am going to enjoy _punishing_ you for your little trick.” Cullen was furious, and though he wasn’t sure what he would do, he was going to make Maya regret her actions. For Maker’s sake, she had used his own desires to seduce him into her dirty trick.  

“C-Cullen!” Cassandra stuttered with disbelief as she appeared on the top landing. It took several seconds for her to regain her composure enough to speak further.

“Commander let her go. I have no idea what she did to you, but it is not worth killing her.” Her words snapped him out of his anger. Did he really want to hurt Maya? Was he trying to kill her? His hold on her relaxed as he realized this wasn’t him, not really. He wasn't that man anymore.

“Maya I…” He attempted to set her down and apologize, only for panic to set in as he realized she had passed out. His entire world narrowed to the woman in his arms as he took her to his bed. He laid her down gently, and was relieved to see she was breathing though just barely.

Cullen grabbed a spare sheet from his bed and tied it around himself in a makeshift sarong. Next, he rustled through his nightstand before producing a healing potion. He cradled Maya’s head before pouring the liquid down her throat. Within moments, her color started returning and her breathing deepened. As soon as he was sure Maya was alright, he turned back to Cassandra.  

“Lady Cassandra, I need you to go collect Solas as well as the other advisers and then come back here. Also, for Maker’s sake, get me some clothes from somewhere.” It was easiest to slip into his role as commander when he was especially stressed.   

“I will take my leave then, Commander.” He was impressed by her stoic resolve as she nodded before disappearing.

“Maker’s breath Maya, what have you done?” Cullen sighed out the words as he sat on the edge of the bed next to her. His anger still bubbled under the surface, but it was more like waves than the roaring tempest he had felt earlier. She had no right to do this to him, but he wasn’t sure he couldn’t blame her. The silence gave him time to really dwell on all that had happened between them.  

He had been so blind to her until now. He’d spent the last few months on a mission. The need to control her had been his obsession, and everything he had done had been for that goal. He had lied to her, used her for the Inquisition’s gain. Of course he had fallen for her, but even that was secondary to his need for domination.

Maya was kept close to him, and yet so far away she could never reach him. The deceit their relationship was built on had seeped through despite his efforts. Guilt, he always felt so much guilt when around her. Before it would not have bothered him, but once he realized how much he cared everything changed. He wasn’t cold, but lukewarm, and he had gotten the same in return.

No wonder she had ran the first time she got a chance. He was such a fool, and now she had exacted her revenge. Was he in turn to seek retribution?

_Maybe it’s best to set her free._ He rolled the thought over in his mind as he watched the slow rise and fall of her chest. He was done playing this petty game. It was time to end it before even more damage was done.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Mayamelissa and Garbage for all the support and love. Also for those of you who have stuck through me during this journey.  
> Imma do me for the rest of this story and not worry about what everyone else thinks.  
> As always I love comments and kudos.  
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	8. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of this piece of the saga. Look for the next part of the series coming soon to a theater near you. (Actually it will just be posted in this series but whatever)  
> A little redemption for our star crossed lovers as they decide to part ways, for now.

Maya stirred as the fog of her mind lifted. Her body felt heavy, and Cullen's scent surrounded her. She sighed as she snuggled deeper into the pillow. She knew she should resist, knew it wasn't right.

'Maya...' he called her name softly but she refused to open her eyes. She was too at peace with where she was.

_How did I get here? Where is here?_

It hadn't mattered before, but now she was curious. Her eyes fluttered open just enough to see the outline of Cullen's face framed with horns.

_Ah fuck that's right._

A frustrated groan worthy of Cassandra escaped her, and he was suddenly there. His hand brushed her cheek and she flinched from the touch. Memories of his fury flooded back to her.

He winced and withdrew his hand before rubbing the back of his neck. “I...I'm sorry. I was, well still am, angry. I'm not sure what came over me.”

“I-it’s ok Cullen. I think given the stress it was a little understandable.” Maya sat up and hugged her knees to her chest. She had really screwed up this time.

“Maybe…” He stared off, and she distracted herself by toying with the sheets beneath her. Her hand closed around a foreign material, and her eyes grew wide as she realized it was his shredded smalls.

_And here I was trying to be good and not think of how gloriously naked he is._

He noticed what she had found, and his hold on the cloth covering him tightened. He blushed deeply, but for once in her life she let her perfect opportunity to torment him go.

“I'm sorry too Cullen, about everything.” He seemed to sense what she meant. It wasn’t just about accidentally turning him into a Qunari. She cared deeply for him, but she couldn't live without Rylen.

_I have got to get myself sorted out._

“I accept your apology. I also want to wish you and Commander Rylen happiness. Hopefully he won't make the same mistakes I did.” Maya’s mouth hung open in shock at Cullen’s words. Was he actually admitting that he was wrong?

_Shit I hope the sky doesn’t fall or something because this has to be some strange alternate universe._

“Let’s start over, Cullen. We have both done so much damage to each other. I...I came to check on you because I was scared. I know I messed up but I promise to fix this somehow.”

_Right because I’m sure this is such an easy fix._

_Shut up just shut up. I’m trying to be nice for once and you are over here pissing me off._

Cullen opened his mouth to speak, but the sound of the door opening below stopped him. People were coming in, and Maya felt like retching as she heard the voices below. Cass, Solas, and her other advisers, just the people she didn’t want to see.

_This is gonna suck._

*****

“Let me get this straight, you gave Cullen a potion that you got from Sera, and _you didn’t know what it would do?”_ When Cassandra said it like that it sounded bad, really bad. Ok so maybe it was bad. Maya was such an idiot.

Solas had taken the bottle and examined the few drops left inside. He said Cullen would be back to his normal self in a few hours, and a sigh of relief had spread around the group.

_See no harm no foul._

_Tell that to Cassandra._

“Listen I said I was sorry. It won’t happen again I promise.” She was still sitting on Cullen’s bed while the women stared daggers at her from across the room. Cullen, now dressed in what she assumed were Bull’s pants, sat near her. He had been strangely silent since finding out she was so irresponsible.

“If you weren’t the Inquisitor you would be in the dungeons right now. Sadly though, we still need you.” Leli’s voice was cold, and Maya fought the urge to cry.

“We will allow the Commander to decide a fitting punishment for you. He is the grievous party in this matter.” Even Josie was furious. Maya was sure this was going to cause more work for the Ambassador as she tried to smooth another situation over.

“Honestly, I just want to put this whole thing behind us.” The Commander raised his head as he finally chimed in. Maya wanted to reach out and touch his arm, but knew she had no right.

“No Cullen, it’s aright. I could have killed you! I deserve this.” She wanted him to be angry with her again. She hated that defeated look in his golden eyes.

“And I almost killed you. It’s time we end this madness.” His gaze finally met hers, and even more guilt washed over her. He was entirely too noble for someone like her.

“I just want to know why you did this? Why would you think this was a good idea?” Cullen’s cheeks slightly reddened as the Seeker spoke.

_He’s going to be mortified when Cass finds out what he and the other advisers did to me. Everyone knows she’s a hopeless romantic. She’s going to hate him for tricking me._

For probably the only time in her life, Maya did something noble instead of saving her own skin.

“Because I’m a little twit. It wasn’t enough to cheat on him, I wanted to humiliate him too.” She stared at the floor as Cassandra hurled lectures at her for several minutes. From the corner of her eye, Maya could see the relief on Cullen’s face. She had saved him from being thoroughly embarrassed in front of the Seeker, and that made it all worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> *Cries* Oh poor Cullen I am so sorry. I promise I will make it up to you.  
> Moral of this story is: It's dangerous to get two fangirls together yelling about hot DA:I non-romances for hours. 
> 
> Much Love,
> 
> SS


End file.
